The Male Gaze

This is going to be something of a long, rambling post because my thoughts are pretty jumbled, but here goes. It was inspired by a link I found on Feministe about the male gaze in comic books. It was ironic that I came across this link today, because I had my first 'aha' moment this morning about it.

I was driving to work and saw a woman walking along the sidewalk. She was attractive, tall and slim with a pretty face. She was wearing  jeans and a long-sleeve tunic top, but I definitely had a 'wow, she's sexy' moment. Then I felt bad for her that she was probably being leered at by the guys driving by and would probably get a horn honked or a 'hey baby' yelled at her. Then I thought, 'why would she dress like that' before I realized that she a. wasn't dressed particularly sexy or hoochie-like and b. was probably on her way to work or something. 'Why can't a woman walk down the street without having to be on display?'

Then I thought about myself, walking to school and knowing that I'm the object of judgment of my physical characteristics even though I'm not doing anything to invite it.

All that in the course of like, 30 seconds.

Now, I'm a straight woman, but I automatically looked at this stranger as I would if I were a man. I judged her by her physical attributes and found her appealing. Then, because I am a woman, I felt bad for her having to be subjected to my and other's stares. And then, of course, I blamed her for eliciting or encouraging those stares before I came to my senses and realized that other than being pretty, she wasn't doing anything but walking to work (or wherever).

The default gaze is 'male,' even for women. We judge other women by a man's standards. The 'male gaze' is the default one. The old cliche is that women dress for other women, but we are all dressing for invisible men.

Now, due to my upbringing, I find it very discomforting to be the object of unwanted male attention. The fact that I'm not seeking it out, but am subject to it anyway is unpleasant to me. Of course, I have a friend who enjoys it and invites it and doesn't mind at all, so to each his own.

I just found it interesting that I immediately looked at this woman as a sex object, even though I'm not particularly interested in her sexually.