I'm lazy...

And unmotivated. It's a sad combination.

I need a new job. Well, that's not entirely true. I need to make more money. But I'm not going to make the kind of money I want to make at my present job, hence the whole need-a-new-job thing.

The problem?

I hate, hate, hate looking for work. I'm sure nobody likes job hunting, and of course I'm happy that I even have a job and a steady paycheck, blah, blah, blah

But...

I *really* hate looking for work. I hate updating my resume. I hate tailoring it to fit jobs that I don't really want. I hate lying to my current employer on the off chance that I get an interview. I hate pretending that there's nothing on earth I'd rather do than sell my time to company A to improve their profits or help them get the word out about their particular brand of crap. I hate trying to find available jobs. I hate trying to make a good impression or make myself stand out from the crowd. I hate the phony enthusiasm. I hate being judged. I hate trying to distill my value into a page worth of single-spaced, specially worded happy horseshit. I hate all of that.

The problem is that I really don't want to work. Who does? I want to do what I want to do, yet not have to worry about who is going to feed, clothe and house me. Not to mention keep me in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed (ha!).

But the next question is, of course: what do i want to do? If there's a grand question in my life, it's this: What the hell do I want, anyway? What makes me happy?

Is it weird/pathetic/pathological to honestly have no idea how to answer?

Job hunting makes me confront -- again -- the sad fact that I am an aimless 30-something stuck in a dead-end job with no real goals or vision for the future.

If you think that *sounds* sad and pathetic, try living it.

Now *this* is more like it!

I've driven through/been to the airport in more states, of course, but I thought I'd draw the line at states I've actually spent time in.


While I'm doing pretty good (I guess) there is a whole broad swath in the middle there that has been pretty neglected...



create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

I always thought it would be bigger...

I've always been so, I guess, proud of all the places I've been, but when you look at it on a map, I have a looong way to go to truly consider myself a world traveller.





create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Reynesha X

Comedy Central recently re-ran the Reno 911 episode where Reynesha (the black female cop) converted to Islam (the Nation of Islam, of course) and threw the whole department in a tizzy. She spent the majority of the show berating the white people she came across as 'the devil.'

I TiVo'd it cuz I hadn't seen the whole thing, but I was interested because you *never* see African-American Muslims (NOI or otherwise) on television. Ever. It's almost like we don't exist. I watched it the other day and wanted to share my thoughts.

Now "Reno 911" is definitely not the place for enlightenment or insight or anything other than low-brow humor (tho it is funny at times). The end of the show revealed that she "converted" in order to get the entire month of Ramadan off (I wish!). She wanted to go to Las Vegas (notice the irony?).

I have to admit that I *loved* the way she wore her hijab(if you click the link there's a video). I'm *extremely* hijab illiterate, unfortunately. One (somewhat unexpected) storyline was that the black male cop thought she was sexy and decided to "convert" so he could date her.

Basically the show was a distilling of white American fears of Islam: it's a 'foreign' religion for black and brown people who want to kill white folks.

The characters (including the supposed convert) revealed their ignorance of Islam througout the show. The show was (sort of) making fun of their ignorance, but mostly making fun of the strange requirements of that weird religion. It's instructional because it reveals a basic and complete misunderstanding of even the fundamental tenets of Islam. It never occurs to anyone to find out more or even to question the 'convert.'

One of the subtexts is, of course, that Reynesha chose Islam because it strikes fear into the hearts of white folks and they don't know enough (and are afraid) to question her about it. One of the best gags in the show comes in the beginning when she is sitting fully veiled at the morning police officers' briefing and no one wants to say anything to her about it.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm still amazed at how little people really know about Islam. This show really brought that home for me.

If it weren't for quizzes...

I'd never blog at all...

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Poetry in Motion

Let me just say first off that I am not a big fan of poetry; I'm more of a prose gal, novels especially.

With that being said, I came upon a cool poem by Nikki Giovanni in my Web travels that I think meets my (highly idiosyncratic) notion of good poetry:

Choices

Here is one of my all time favorite poems by W.B. Yeats:

When You are Old

I was going to write more on what makes a good poem for me, but I spent so long trying to find decent links to those two poems that now I'm just going to forget it.