Wednesday, November 24, 2004

About Thanksgiving

I used to really love Thanksgiving. The food, mostly, I guess. Even now I rarely eat stuffing or pumpkin pie except on Thanksgiving, so it's like a big treat. Since we didn't celebrate Christmas, it was also the one big holiday that I felt I had in common with my non-Muslim friends and family.

Even though most of my Thanksgivings growing up were just my mom and me (I know it should be 'Mom and I' but it always sounds so affected to me, like using 'whom' in casual conversation), it always seemed to me to be a very family holiday. Plus, my mom always made a big deal about it, which made it very special.

Now that I'm grown, however, I've pretty much lost my love for Thanksgiving. Like most of the reality of being a 'grown-up,' the actual Thanksgiving can't seem to hold up under the weight of my vision of what it should be.

For the past few years, the DH and I make the drive to Killeen and have Thanksgiving dinner with one of my (ex-) stepmom's friends. My brother and sister would be there, along with my stepmom (my dad rarely went. he always had better things to do I guess. I really shouldn't wonder why I'm so anti-social; it runs in the family), and this woman and her three kids.

I barely know the woman, so I never really feel comfortable at her house. I can never really relax and enjoy myself and the DH feels the same way.

We tried to have our own Thanksgiving last year, but we don't really know many people, and most of the ones we know already had plans, so it kind of sucked. I mean it was nice, but not Thanksgiving, if you catch my drift. This year, we'll be back in Killeen. I don't have my hopes up for a roaring good time, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Not bad, not great, just ... fine.

My dream, and the dream of whatThanksgiving would be like when I was an adult, is to have Thanksgiving dinner at my house, a house filled with friends and family. I'd be the perfect hostess, the food would be wonderful and everyone would have a good time. Best of all, I'd be surrounded by people I love who love me and everyone would want to be there.

Wait, that's what I want everyday, isn't it? Sigh, I guess it's not really about Thanksgiving at all. It never is.

Happy Thanksgiving!





You Are the Stuffing




You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together.
People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.




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